Wednesday 7 March 2012

Putting Pain in Perspective

pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain.

this is my baldrick poem.

it doesn't help that i'm teaching my year 10's an isnpector calls right now.

help help help help help



I realised yesterday, after all your wonderful comments of support, that you might need some perespective. And it helps me to realise how far I've come in relation to pain management and emotional growth. The above was taken from my livejournal account "certainromance".

So has the below.

But these were the just the most bearable of the LJ posts, most were about teaching / hating teaching / boys who had flitted in and out of my life. Music.

And the most HORRENDOUS selfpity I have ever come across.

But you know, it does put things in perspective when I can see how far I have in fact come since 2005.

God bless you internet journals!

Pain can only make you stronger, right?
Oh my fuckin' God, pain (of the stomach variety) like you wouldn't imagine... all doped up this weekend, with a phone call from the Leeds pain clinic to sort out appt. and I'm looking at about the middle of March I think, which is great.

Alright, well. Time has come to admit I'm not overly well. I've avoided wallowing in self pity (which is a new one for me), but being drugged up to the eye balls is hell on earth. I'd rather be in pain, if the pain wasn't so bad. Huh, work that one out.

This isn't a 'look at me, I'm on drugs post'. Nope. If I'd posted this before now, it would've been, this is an official: help me, someone, please.

Physical pain: evil. Fact.

Painkillers: devilish. Fact.

I can't take this anymore. I'm going to the doctors this afternoon, in the hope she can make the pain go away, but then, Codeine didn't work. Tranadol didn't work. Over the counter shit doesn't work. So I'm not holding out much hope. If all she can offer me is morphine, I'll turn her down. If I can't stomach Codeine without feeling like I'm ten miles away from my body (great fun for stacking shelves though), I'm not going to go anywhere near morphine. I just want something to magic the pain away. Is that too much to ask?

Mornings are great, and I never thought I'd say that, but being pain free is a novelty to me right now. Three weeks of pain ain't no fun. Nope. 4 days of cramps a month I can cope with, but this is just taking the piss.

Right, this is a "any wonderful ways of curing pain?" kinda thread, and a warning, cos if I end up getting drugged up (again), I can not be held responsible for my actions. Nope.

So there you go. Ignore if you wish, but I needed to get this rant outta my system before I go to the doctors.

Amputate from the neck down is what I say.


Kathryn x 

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