Friday, 28 February 2014

WHAT BEING A FAT WOMAN IS REALLY LIKE...

Earlier this week, the social networks were buzzing with this Cosmo article. I know, I know, a relevant article in mainstream media! It baffled me. It also inspired the #psbloggers community, and Claire began asking if people wanted to write our own answers. 


I wasn't sure I'd have the time to answer these along with everyone else, so this will sit in my drafts until I've answered all of them.


How do you feel when other women around you complain about feeling/being fat?


It depends on how I'm feeling that day. Some days it makes its way inside my head and I think "If they're fat, what am I????" but most of the time I laugh it off. Fat isn't an emotion, it can't be felt. If they're feeling bloated, that is different, or over full, again, different. I don't feel fat, I AM fat. 

How has your body image changed since high school? College? 

I was probably a busty size 18-20 at school, and up to a 22 by the time I left for university. I hid in baggy t shirts and combat pants, feeling ashamed. I'd often binge eat in an attempt get some to control on the situation. By the time I left uni though, I was down to a size 16, but I felt I was much much bigger, and still needed to hide away in dark colours. When my condition REALLY flared up, around the age of 21, I went up to a size 22 in about 3 years. I started binging again in an attempt to control something about myself. Once I got the pain under control, and got some direction, my eating relaxed again. It's something I'm aware of, and I know I need to watch for in future.

Have you tried dieting? What happened? 

Under pressure from my parents at 18, I tried the Atkins diet for about 4 weeks. It didn't last at all. I've tried strict calorie diets, and the like, but nothing worked for me - or I'd end up bigger than I was to start with. 

Do you think in your case your weight is partly or entirely genetic?

I don't think it is. I think for the most part, it is down my state of mind, rather than anything genetic. I always thought I was a large kid, but looking back at pictures, I wasn't. It was all just perception. 

Do you consider yourself healthy? Have there been instances where people assumed you were unhealthy?

I think strangers probably think that, but very few have verbally stated that. I have a pain condition, but that is due to a mistake made by the NHS, not my size, so Doctors don't usually mention it when I have to go in to see them. I have a healthy mind, and a good outlook at the moment. Yes, I could do with being a little more active, but if you spend all day on your feet, or running between offices, running Brownie meetings, you're less inclined to then do more when you finally get home.

Are your parents both supportive of you at the weight you're at? Have they always been?

When a new fad comes into their lives, like Atkins, or the Hairy Bikers, they do try to suggest / force me to try things. Now I just respond with 'I'm happy as I am'. But it has been an issue in the past between us, yes.

How do you think retailers can improve clothes for plus-size people?

I'd like more shops. I want to be able to go shopping with my friends and try things on in store. Or just on my high street so I can FEEL the material. The one thing I hate is cheap feeling fabrics. They make you hot and sweat - and I hate that image of the fattie sweating - it's one thing I'm rather paranoid about.


Do you think plus-size women are judged differently than plus-sized men are? How?

I think women in general are judged more than men. On our looks, what we wear, how we act. So think this is a non-question. 

Do you think there’s an assumption made/stereotype that exists about plus-size people? How would you respond to it? 

I think we're seen as lazy, as though we do nothing other than sit and eat and watch TV. I have a great career, in a sector I LOVE. I run a Brownie pack, I sing in a choir, I help the community. But I'm still judged on my image, and my size. 

I also hate the idea I'm a fetish, or a 'Real' person because I have boobs and a bum. And don't get me started on the idea of fetishising fats.

Do you think there’s ever a right way or time to express concern about someone’s weight? 

Only if I start the conversation (which I won't). Or I ask your advice (which I won't). Or I want a recipe for some weight loss miracle tea (which I won't).


What are the worst things people have said to you about your body?

I'll be honest, I've blanked most of them out. I don't want to remember what people called me at school - and my last name garnered more than it's fair share of comments (it's pronounced Cowpa(t)... Imagine! And no, there is no t at the end of my name). 

How did you respond?

A lot of the time, I used to ignore things shouted, or implied. Now I politely challenge them!


What have people said (or do you wish they’d say) that would compliment your body or appearance?

Working in a large office for such a long time (over 5 years now), means that I've known some of these people for a very long time. And so they've seen me change in terms of fashion, and acceptance. So a new outfit (or combination) will illicit at least one or two comments from people. 

One thing that I know people will think is a compliment is 'It makes you look slimmer', or 'Have you lost weight'. I really don't take well to these types of comments, but I get that most of the time they're said out of kindness.

Do you find yourself hanging out with women who are closer to your size?

Not really. I think in real life, I'm possibly the largest in the office, and certainly in my friendship circle. Not that it bothers me though. In the virtual world though, my social circle has some amazing women in it, of all shapes and sizes. I wish I could live there sometimes, just to be near all their amazingness.

How has your weight affected your sex life, if at all?

Yes, mainly because I've let it affect it. I have a block in my head that I'm slowing dissolving, where I think I must be the 'pity shag' or the hidden girlfriend, due to the stigma attached to being a plus size cutie!

When you've been single, has your weight affected your dating life?

I'm the chronically single friend - my longest relationship is about 5 months when I was 21 (my first in many ways), but I felt it wouldn't work due to distance, and being the fat girlfriend.

I always used to question "Why are they with me?", and "Why do they like me?" and I think I sabotaged a couple of chances due to my own issues with my size.

I think online sites have helped though. Posting realistic, full length selfies mean I know they know I'm bigger than most before we start chatting, and my new found confidence also means I'm less likely to accept being hidden away. 

Do you feel weird if the guy you’re with only dates larger women?

No, I don't. They have a type and stick with it. I maybe would have done in the past, but certainly not any more.

Do you feel weird if he's only dated slimmer women before you?

No, again, I don't. Attraction isn't about types, it's about the person. Again, age and confidence now means I'm happy to accept myself, and others who may be interested!

I hope you'll check out the others who are also going to be answering these questions:


I really enjoyed answering these, and hope you enjoyed reading my waffle! 

Much love my lovelies, 

K x 





Sunday, 23 February 2014

Do You Remember The First Time - Pink Clove

Pink Clove has been on my radar ever since I spotted that tartan skater dress!

I have ooooh-ed and ahhhh-ed over their collection of prints, skaters, body con, pencils, ballerina's, and more besides. 

Come the Boxing Day sales, I took the plunge and placed my first order!

First off, my heart broke a little when I saw that that tartan dress wasn't available, but then I spotted that this floral skater was:

Belt

Without the belt

Some may say that this is a little short, for one with a bottom like mine, but it's too pretty a dress to give up on due to a little thing like the length of the skirt to bother me!!

I also picked up this tartan skater skirt - if I couldn't have the whole dress, I'd happily take half of one!


Although I was uncertain as to how I'd wear this, and again, the length - but I'm really happy with it:



I still feel there is more I can do with this skirt... but for now, it's happy being the source of the attention in the outfit!!

And finally, I tossed this peplum (no longer available) into my order, just to see how it looked:

Which I tried with my printed trousers:


My printed pencil skirt:


And then tucked into a skater skirt:


I may be late to the Pink Clove party, but I'm rather happy with my 'spoils' so far! Next stop, one of these ballerina beauties!


Much love my lovelies, 

K x








Thursday, 20 February 2014

Welcome to Turkey!

My first week in Turkey is drawing to close, but the 12 hours travel, 3 flights, and getting frisked at security twice was most definitely worth it!

I'm here for work, but plan to make the most of my weekends in the beautiful city of Izmir. When I was here back in October, I was made to feel so welcome and part of the team, and now it is no different. 

These past few nights have involved room service or eating in the hotel restaurant (check out my Instagram for updates on beautiful food, and the best cheesecake EVER).

As I'm here for 4 weeks, and only had a luggage allowance of one bag, I've packed a bumper load of separates, and set my self a challenge not to wear the same combination - be that through cardigan swapping, or what, I don't know. It's going to be rather interesting to see how things go. 

I've also underestimated the weather in February, and my footwear is COMPLETELY wrong. I mean, biker boots? REALLY???

So, first off, a revisit for this, only with black hair, obviously:


My striped folk print lace dress from Simply Be, complete with my Little Miss Delicious cardigan (and biker boots, out of shot):

My Collectif Liesel skirt, with Lovedrobe for Evans top:


And today, I fancied a little corporate-ness, in my Team Enterprise Services tee shirt, and my Collectif Liesel skirt.





So, 4 outfits down, and about another 21 to go - with trips to the sea side planned, as well as shopping in bazaars! 

Wish me luck!

Much love, 

x

Monday, 10 February 2014

Wedding Fayre "For a Friend"

Twitter competitions, if you hadn't noticed, are something of a hobby of mine! I regularly just hit that RT button, follow the account and think nothing of it! 

My good friend is getting married in December (more posts on that to come, I mean, I what do I WEAR???), and so when I saw two tickets for a local wedding fayre up for grabs, a little RT and follow action later, done. 

I only went and won them didn't I!

So that is how Jax and I headed to the Metro Arena one cold January day. 

And I accidentally planned my wedding. I know, I know, I need a partner to marry first, but bear with me!!

Most stalls (rightly so) had samples of dresses, bouquets, table decorations, photo booths, ice cream carts... the list goes on!

These cakes though! Works of art!

A wedding cake of CHEESE!

But this is the one I would have to have - the bird cage cake!

To tie in with my bird cage table decorations!

My bouquet would be made of vintage jewels

But my dress! Oh, I've had it pictured in my head for a number of years now, and I honestly never expected to see my dress at a wedding fayre!



That was until I came across the House of Mooshki stall, and saw the spotted dress with the sweetheart neckline. It was basically taken out of my imagination and put in dress form!

One thing I've not mentioned, is venue. But as my Mam has already picked my venue(s), there was no point in me falling in love with somewhere new. If I hadn't had this sorted though, I'm sure the team here could have helped me find the right place, they’re a wedding directory site with a list of wedding venues!

While we were waiting for the catwalk to start, we were treated to a talk from Michelle Paradise, Bridal Coach, who was presenting on different topics throughout the weekend. We were there when she was talking about body shapes and the best dress for you. Now, I've explained my thoughts on body shape here, but I get that brides, wanting the perfect day, would want the perfect dress for their shape.

Michelle explained her different shapes, the tube, the triangle, the inverted triangle, the hourglasses, and the round. She offered advise and ideas on how to enhance and flatter. There was a little bit of audience participation, and I was the outspoken one who knew my shape, the outspoken one that was an hourglass with a bit of triangle thrown in. Nothing new there then!

The catwalk was a surprise and a half! Although there wasn't much difference for the suits available for the grooms, the dresses being showcased on the different sized models were varied in style and colour!


The winner had to be the Candy Dance Routine though:


All in all, going to Wedding Fayre is not always about being the bride, but being inspired and having a giggle! 

The stand out moment mind was getting dating tips from the lovely team at Alnwick Garden!

Much love my lovelies, 

K x

Saturday, 8 February 2014

Marisota SS14 Style Challenge

Oh February, with your subtle glimpses of Spring, swiftly taken away with the next storm. You're a mean mistress February, you really are!

Not only that, but we're encouraged to start thinking of Spring and Summer with the fashion magazines filling up with key trends, key items, and so we pine for the pastel colours and floaty skirts of summer. 

When I was contacted by Marisota to see if I wanted to take part in their SS14 challenge, I was thinking how that would translate for the North East weather. 

Never fear! The team sent me 3 items which may be sent out to me, and none of the had me grabbing a scarf in protest! They all hinted at the SS seasons, don't get me wrong, but not in a 'suffer for fashion' kinda way!

When I opened my parcel, and this beaut popped out:


I was rather happy! 

Monochrome is something which my wardrobe has subconsciously been craving, so this piece will be a great new addition! I was also keen to try the 'illusion' aspect - something I'm not worried about for myself, but I know other people would be keen to see how the effect worked (or didn't).

I first wore it, in true Kathryn Style, with my Collectif Liesel skirt:


Then, after a wash and an iron, it was paired with my black skinny jeans:


One thing I will say about it, is it does gape a little bit, but that washing it didn't make it shrink, so YAY!

Also, the material is a shiny poly blend, so not really very breathable (and I'd made the mistake of wearing during a stressful conference call - eekk).

But, I still felt pretty amazing in it, even when I was a little out of my comfort zone with pairing it with jeans. 

I am really keen to see the other bloggers in the other two items, to see their thoughts!

Much love my lovelies, 


K x

Friday, 7 February 2014

The Magnificent 7th: Date Night

The theme for this month's Magnificent 7th is closely tied into the thing that happens on the 14 February. I've never celebrated, or taken part in  this tradition, so it doesn't hold much meaning for me. But yes, the theme for this month is Date Night. 

A little bit awkward for the single lass sat behind the computer right now, but hey, okay!

I generally try to go for comfortable. I don't want to spend the whole date pulling my skirt down, or top up, or be conscious of any other aspect of my outfit! 

I usually go for the dress and cardi combo:


Ideal for a warm date, but at this time of year I just might want something a little more warming!

So, should I have a date tomorrow, shopping in Newcastle, I would possibly consider this:


To be worn with brogues, and my leather jacket for warmth!

And actually, that has just given me a great idea for what to wear to a date, shopping in Newcastle, tomorrow! ;)


If you've forgotten, The Magnificent 7th is a fashion challenge, which will be posting on the 7th of each month (hence our name!), and the aim of the challenge is to create an outfit to fit a theme or a topic, ONLY using clothes & accessories from our wardrobes, and yes that does mean digging deep into the depths and finding those long lost clothes! Hopefully one of us won't end up in Narnia, but you never know with my wardrobe!


Check out these other fabulous ladies and what they'd wear for Date Night: