Tuesday 9 October 2018

Dating While Fat

Swiping left, and swiping right, it’s no longer the gut reaction that the app creators hoped for. It’s laden with politics, with doubling thinking, and who has the upper hand. 

Typically, in my humble experience, the men are likely to just swipe right on everyone – I mean, what an ego boost, right? To see out of everyone on that particular app, everyone who things ‘yeah, okay’. The amount of ‘you’ve got a match’ alerts I get, and then poof, they’re gone – tell me this is not just my dating based paranoia speaking! 

Because we’re not swiping because we see a future with that person; we’re not just swiping because we might actually find this person tolerable; we’re swiping to get the middle ground. Obviously, I don’t know about the other people using the app, but I can guess I’m not alone in only swiping for those that I think I might stand a chance with. 

For I am, swiping while fat. I mean, I know I am. I do everything that I can to make sure that the people who match with me know this too. Other than my carefully chosen selfies, I make sure I link my IG – gotta share those candid makeup free pictures too, as well as the plethora of cat pictures! But I also link my Spotify account, sharing my love of 60s girl groups, and mainstream riot grrl, to even out the picture, to show I’m more than just a cute chubby woman. That as confident as I am, the next match needs to see that the past experiences of dating need to be navigated, that there are some reassurances which need to be made. 

When my phone lights up, another match on another app, I wait, knowing the likely hood of this one unmatching me as well, is pretty high. I sound bitter about that, don’t I? I’m not, I am battle worn. I am hardened to the Tinder, the Bumble, the Plenty of Fish's of this world. But then, I’m not new to these apps, although I do regularly throw my phone across the room in a fit of pique and decide to go on deleting rage! Or, and this one is rare, I am chatting with someone who I actually might just agree to meet, and delete the apps as a way of showing “here man, I’m taking a chance of you”. Sadly, this is usually the point they send the unsolicited dick pic, or tell me how much they love my confidence, my style, but have I thought about my health!? 

Let’s get this one cleared up: you can’t tell someone’s health by looking at them. The only thing you can tell is your own prejudice, your own fatphobia. I don’t smoke, I rarely drink, and actually, for your information, I’m fully gluten free. Foxtrot Oscar. 

I worry that I’m a little block button happy sometimes. But then, got to protect my sanity – I’m not on these apps to educate for goodness sake! 

If you’re thinking of getting yourself out there, joining these magical apps (for I’ve had some brilliant conversations, it’s not all doom and gloom), expect quick unmatchings, remove that from your notifications if you can, and be ready to block if need be!

Saturday 18 March 2017

Mother and Daughter Style Challenge Part 1

I've been blogging for quite a while now - think it's about 5 years? - and my Mam has never really understood it. It comes from a place of love, that she doesn't want me attracting 'undue attention'. 

But she slowly started to take an interest - and I thought when the team behind J D Williams contacted me, I could work my Mam into my plan!

The plan was simple - I would choose 2 pieces for her, and she would choose 2 pieces for me. I would finally let her dictate what I wear!

We both trawled through the Plus Size options on JD Williams - and it seems we both went for one that was in our usual style, and another that pushed our limits a little.

My Mam first went for this green body con number: 

My new job has me working from home, but I regularly have to go for super business smart. But as I'm still one for showing spark and personality, I like to mix up my smart with a side of Kathryn positivity!

I paired with a grey collarless jacket for a work event.

The joy of this (for me), isn't the awesome colour, but the draping detail:

Gotta say, my Mam did very well choosing this! I spent most of the event sat down, and although I did pull at the length of the skirt a bit, I still felt confident and pretty awesome in it - meaning I was giving my A Game at the event! 

I chose this number for my Mam:

I mean, just look at her face! You can tell she is a super happy in it - either that or I hit her with one of my bad jokes! 

She rocks dresses like this all the time - and a bold floral print gives her a number of options for cardigan coordination (which is where I get that particular sense of style from!).

The waist detail is a great touch, something to separate it from the other dresses in her wardrobe

She actually loves this dress so much she's picked it up in the navy / pink spot combo!

So, round one of the Mother / Daughter style challenge worked out pretty well, didn't it!

Much love my lovelies, 

K and Mama K

Saturday 10 December 2016

Introducing.... Joanie Clothing

There is rarely a new brand on the block that makes a splash without offending / upsetting people (ie me) in some way or other. Starting a brand, gaining a following for all the right reasons, and delivering the goods? If you've seen the most recent series of the Apprentice, you'll know that this isn't easy!

So when Joanie Clothing came on the scene, using the stunning Em as one of their models, ranging from 8 - 22, with some styles up to a 26, they proved that it can indeed be done.

I love these shots of Em, who I pretty much think Joan off of Mad Men is styled on, and she is a perfect face of this vintage with a twist brand. 

My first order from Joanie was this lipstick printed dress:

I wore this at a works evening meal type thing, in Manchester, and teamed it with my fave bomber ever, the Simply Be Embroidered Bomber:

Now, I'm imbetween 24/26, so opted for the 26 in this dress, and I do think I might have been able to size down 0 but the relaxed fit of this tea dress meant it wasn't that big a deal.

I then invested in something that's been missing from my wardrobe since a zip broke - a good black skirt:

This high waisted number met all my needs - and a perfect counter point for this Alice and You pleated shirt (worn for a night of singing in the choral society)

I also picked up the Jane cut out dress, as the cut outs reminded me of a  chunky lace type fabric, and I was keen to replace one I'd sold recently.

I opted for the 26 again, just to err on the side of caution - and when it arrived, and I tried it on, I convinced myself it just needed a good iron - which improved the fit, but I still struggled with the neckline, but with a quick belt to help the fit, I was happy enough to wear it to a corporate event:

I am super happy that there is another independent brand out there that I can get behind, and it's early days in terms of fit, and the size range that they offer. There are at least 3 dresses on their site that if they went over the 22 I would bite their hands off (Tartan, Books and Cat!! - need I say more?!)

I might have been ridiculously sparse with my blogging this year, but with a new job, a new laptop, and a new love for the writing, I'm super happy that Joanie brought me out of the blogging dry spell!

Much love my lovelies,

KK x

Tuesday 11 October 2016

For the love of Autumn

This past 4 months of Summer has been pretty hard going in the land of KK, and I know I've been quiet on the ol' blog front - but as the clouds begin to clear, and the future is not so much the pit of despair it has been recently, I'm raising my head over the parapet, as it were. Partly because I wanted to share a transitional Autumnal number with you - but also, I've missed you all!

This Hell Bunny beaut, modeled by the stunning Georgina Horne of of Fuller Figure Fuller Bust, with it's thick material, longer sleeves and yet summery print, makes this dress a lush Autumn piece - to be worn with tights, or bare legged, depending on the weather!

I find the Hell Bunny sizing a little off most of the time, so opted for the 4X - my go to size in this type of brand. 

I suspect, because the dress is a little on the big side, the neckline likes to slip and show my bra - which is the same no matter which bra I wear it with.

(I personally recommend this bra with this dress, as it gives great shape and lift! I wear a 36JJ, for reference).

To counter the revealing neckline moments, I've taken to pulling the shoulders wider, so it's a bit more of a bandeau neckline, which a bit of plunge too!

However, like I mentioned earlier, this in the 4X, while a comfortable fit, is too big in places:

I wore it recently to take my Grandma out to Sunday lunch, and the looser fit meant I was able to lift her walker in and out of the car with ease - not something people do every day, but certainly a winner with me!

I wore it bare legged with plimsolls, but would happily pair it with black tights and Chelsea boots and denim jacket for most of Autumn / Winter, I'm sure!

It's no longer available in a 3x or 4x, but there are plenty of awesome dresses on here - including some lush Hell Bunny numbers!

A short but sweet blog post from me, which is hopefully a sign of more to come!

Much love my lovelies, 

K xx

Monday 15 August 2016

Interview at The Grand Hotel by Laura Pearman

There is nothing like coming home from Brownie Holiday, and having the chance to be super glam in an amazing location! What even is my life?!

Going from being Robin, the put upon sidekick to my Mam's Batman in the kitchen for a week, to having the chance to talk all things confidence and positivity with Laura, was just the tonic I needed!

It was part of Laura's FacebookLive series, and the interview with me was the final piece in the puzzle!

She had talked about her inspiration behind the #beachbumpinup shoot day here:

And explained all the different levels of tickets available here:

I watched her penultimate FacebookLive, live, but don't worry, you can see it in all it's glory here:

Every time Laura and I get a second together, we end up on some soapbox or other - and Saturday was no different - I'm not sure if it was the typical interview dynamic, but I'm so glad that our energy and passion came across as well as it did!!

And what did I wear?

I'd picked up this Lindybop number as a birthday pick-me-up last month, and figured this was the perfect time to give it an airing, so to speak!

Honestly, this shoot day is going to be such fun, and I can't wait to meet you all! 

Come along, get glammed up, and get your strut on!!

Much love my lovelies, 

K x

Sunday 10 July 2016

Being a Beach Bum

"When you're sad and feeling blue,
with nothing better to do,
don't just sit there getting stressed,
take a trip to the beach!"

Ok, so I've changed the last bit a little bit, but that's poetic licence for you!

I'm going through a ridiculously anxious time at the moment, and using all the techniques I can think of to keep my MH in check. 

One such technique is to dust myself down, glam myself up, and be the best version of myself. Something about projecting that confident persona tends to rub off on me - for a few days at least!

After working with the genius that is Laura Pearman for #bloggerspearjoy, we've often talked about working together again - and last Saturday was the perfect time to get myself glammed up, and to head to the beach to find out what she had in store. 

I honestly had no idea what I was walking in to, and that just goes to show the trust I have in Laura after just one shoot - she literally said 'Meet me at x, bring with you a swimming costume, a vintage dress, and have your usual winged eyeliner and red lip combo'.

Photo taken by Laura Pearman 
(screen shot from the YouTube taster video)

While I'm more than happy to spout about being a confident plus size woman, it's another to be able to pose like a mermaid. But the world didn't end, there was not an ounce of drama, and just good clean fun.

I even stripped off down to my bra while a group of 10k runners ran past.

While Laura and I can sit and natter about anything from Taylor Swift to the EU, we also know when to get to work!

The shoot was over, when the above photo was taken - never off duty us two!

Out of this day of fun and gossip, more than the actual reason I was in front of the camera, I got my mojo back! I mean:

Photos like these aren't about vanity, or about self promotion, but about the confidence, and the swagger they give you. The glow that means you've got this. 

Keep an eye out for the full video, and the full details as to what we've got in store for you all!

Much love my lovelies,

K x

Wednesday 1 June 2016

Summer Vibes on a Grey Day with BonPrix*

Even when the weather is grey and dull outside, I am a firm believer in bringing summer into the office with you - and today I needed to push that idea just that little bit further:

I'm pretty sure this is as close to sunbathing as I'm going to get this year!

But that is no reason to let your summer wardrobe remain in winter, muted tones, NO! Bring summer to the office regardless of the weather! 

The team at Bonprix have a number of options for summer style, and below are my faves!

Stripy Day Dress
Worn with a denim jacket for a day at the beach, or worn with tights and heels for the office, it's a multi tasking little number!

Lace Hem Sun Dress
I'm thinking of pairing this one with a bomber jacket and plimsoles, for an afternoon in a beer garden or with a brightly coloured cardigan, and a pair of contrasting flats!

Country Check Wrap Dress
But this dress speaks for itself, and doesn't need any accessories to dress it up or down. Perfect to brighten your day whether you're in the office or going shopping with pals. 

A huge thanks to Bonprix for a box of goodies, including the flower crown, beach ball and pineapple cup. It was the perfect pick me up to step into June with!

Much love my lovelies,

K x