This is a frightfully hard thing to admit to, or even think of putting in a blog post, but wanted to explain a few things and off load: my spending ban wasn't a gimmick. It was something I needed to do to sort my finances out.
I was my own worst enemy. I lived with my parents until I was 28, so had that disposable income which meant home owning had a whole other level of stress that I'd not really appreciated before: money management.
I often joke that I bought my house by accident - I mean, really, unless it was at an auction and I accidentally sneezed or something! Just not possible! Yet it sums up perfectly my floundering finances that followed.
More and more I found myself buying the latest must have dress - on credit. I would give myself a strong telling off when the payment was due, and I was barely paying off the interest. I started buying presents on credit too, to keep up the pretence that I was a fully functioning adult.
Every couple of months I would give myself a telling, and promise not to buy anything, but then I would be stressed about how to make ends meet, and end up shopping to calm myself down. And I didn't see an end to the cycle.
My parents had grown tired of the various excuses as to why I wasn't doing things, like shopping with my Mam, or replacing tattered shoes. I eventually sat down with my Dad and came clean on the severity of it all.
Whilst I was able to resolve things in the short term without my parents help, and I'm still repaying them now, it didn't solve the issue - I was living beyond my means. I tried to cut back by myself, but really struggled with the idea that because the money was in my account, I couldn't spend it.
Something had to be done.
So the spending ban was signed up for. Instead of saying 'I can't afford this amazing dress', I just had to say that I was still in my spending ban. It made it more palatable, and meant I was able to save face.
The ban has made me more considerate when it comes to what to buy, asking 'Do I need this' or 'Is it worth it'. But it also taught me that if I cut out all the unnecessary spending, I just made it to the end of the month with in the black.
Again, that question: why am I telling you all this? If spending ban is more palatable, I'll continue to use it. But at least now you know what I mean when I say I'm on a spending ban - it means I need to rein in my spending instead of admitting that I'm rubbish with money.
Much love my lovelies,