Wednesday 6 May 2015

Money and Spending Bans

This is a frightfully hard thing to admit to, or even think of putting in a blog post, but wanted to explain a few things and off load: my spending ban wasn't a gimmick. It was something I needed to do to sort my finances out. 

I was my own worst enemy. I lived with my parents until I was 28, so had that disposable income which meant home owning had a whole other level of stress that I'd not really appreciated before: money management.

I often joke that I bought my house by accident - I mean, really, unless it was at an auction and I accidentally sneezed or something! Just not possible! Yet it sums up perfectly my floundering finances that followed.

More and more I found myself buying the latest must have dress - on credit. I would give myself a strong telling off when the payment was due, and I was barely paying off the interest. I started buying presents on credit too, to keep up the pretence that I was a fully functioning adult. 

Every couple of months I would give myself a telling, and promise not to buy anything, but then I would be stressed about how to make ends meet, and end up shopping to calm myself down. And I didn't see an end to the cycle. 

My parents had grown tired of the various excuses as to why I wasn't doing things, like shopping with my Mam, or replacing tattered shoes. I eventually sat down with my Dad and came clean on the severity of it all. 

Whilst I was able to resolve things in the short term without my parents help, and I'm still repaying them now, it didn't solve the issue - I was living beyond my means. I tried to cut back by myself, but really struggled with the idea that because the money was in my account, I couldn't spend it. 

Something had to be done. 

So the spending ban was signed up for. Instead of saying 'I can't afford this amazing dress', I just had to say that I was still in my spending ban. It made it more palatable, and meant I was able to save face. 

The ban has made me more considerate when it comes to what to buy, asking 'Do I need this' or 'Is it worth it'. But it also taught me that if I cut out all the unnecessary spending, I just made it to the end of the month with in the black. 

Again, that question: why am I telling you all this? If spending ban is more palatable, I'll continue to use it. But at least now you know what I mean when I say I'm on a spending ban - it means I need to rein in my spending instead of admitting that I'm rubbish with money.

Much love my lovelies, 

K x 


  1. I hear you, and totally understand this one! I was the same when I bought my first house. Things are better now, and with two incomes etc. but I still have "issues", and really need to sort my shit out! Hi5 to you for this post and utmost respect xxxx

  2. I am my own worst enemy like you. My debt was an accumulation of my spending and that of a money grabbing idiot of an ex. So here I am at 34 back with my parents thanks to debt. I took out a ridiculously huge loan 8 years ago and actually made my last payment last month! Lots of tears at that one. I'm not debt free though as I was almost robbing peter to pay Paul but I will be by the end of the year. I think you will get lots of people comment on this. You are not alone. If I can help you in anyway, get in touch. X

  3. I did the same in my early 30's on partying and pretty dresses which also came to a head when I bought my first house. It took me a long time and I am not proud to say debt management to sort it all out, but I am a lot more cautious with money now, although still not brilliant. I wish you luck and respect you for putting this on the blog as it is sort of a taboo subject x

  4. Ugh! Home owning SUCKS! But at the same time is awesome!

    I know how it feels and I try to get as much discount as possible on everything!

    Very honest post but also it might be good to do a few budget friendly posts as I think many people feel the same way x

  5. I'm glad you're sorting things out, I can't imagine the stress of knowing you have that many bills to pay. My mother always tells me to never get a credit card, it opens the door to shopping temptation.

  6. Massive kudos for posting this Kathryn. I'm not a homeowner, and we never will be if I don't sort my life out. It's hard, so hard to pay off debts and pay for other things too. One of the reasons why I jacked Simply Be in is because I relied on my account far too much. I've not bought from them for over 6 months and it's still going to be another year before I'm all paid up. xx

  7. Huge respect for posting this love. Its so so tough to admit youre struggling. Ive swallowed my pride recently and now openly admit my situation and people are a lot more understanding. I think its especially hard for fashion bloggers to put "the new trend" to the bottom of our priorities because yknow, how long can you blog just wishlists and recycled OOTDs? But when you put it in perspective the new gemma Collins collection wont keep a roof over your head. So I'll join you in the spending ban. And i wholly expect to falter once or twice along the way... but only for a cheap ebay bargain or a budget pair of pastel brogues. Xx

  8. See, I told you that you wouldn't be on your own! If I had any kind of IT brain I'd say we should set up some kind of clothing swap page....

  9. Massive kudos for making this post Kathryn. I was made redundant three years ago and all of a sudden found myself in a similar situation where I had to cut back on all the nice things that I had been buying without (much) restraint otherwise the food and mortgage bills wouldn't get paid. I found that the habit of restraint took a while to get used to, but six months in, it was a lot easier.

    Now I'm back in work, I'm seriously falling back into bad habits again, so I need to take some lessons from your post I think.

    I agree with Sarah Allen above, it would be great to set up an online fat clothes swap. This could be done pretty easily through a blog format, I used to belong to the fatshionista community on livejournal and they had clothes sales and swaps posted every Friday.