Back in February, a group of gal pals and I took part in a Galentines Secret Santa type affair. A chance to share the love with each other, and for a single lass like me, it was a great feeling to actually join in with the commercialisation of Valentines.
I got my 'gal', the super lovely Sarah, a friendship necklace with a twist:
See that donut, just visible? That's one half of the necklace, and the super awesome Sarah has the other half. And I would share my donut with her, any day.
My presents were cute and small, and no less meaningful. A collection of chocolate, jewelry, face masks, and a full heart. But this 'love', takes pride of place:
It sits perfectly with the 'home' sign I already had, and I'm tempted to paint it lilac, to make it stand out a little more.
I'm well aware it's nearly April, and I'm writing about something I took part in back in February, but I've been ruminating on the idea of internet friendships, and if distant makes them any less valid, or whether the 'virtual' nature of it, lessens the pain of arguments, disagreements and fallings out.
Having been grieving for a friendship circle lost recently, I would counter that the fact that a lot of our friendships these days are online, through mediums like Whatsapp, Facebook group chats, or snapchats, we're used to reaching out and getting someone - whereas when it's individual chats, there is the weight of waiting for a reply.
I don't respond to that pressure very well, I read messages and forget to reply - then people just stop messaging me all together - why bother, if I never seem to reply in a timely manner?
Whereas a group chat, I'm a great voice of reason, a builder-upper - someone who can be relied on for a positive word.
But as I said, I've spent the last month or so group-chat-less. And wondering if it was them, or was it me? Was I too..., well, me?
It's felt very much like a break up.
Which is why it's taken til now to write about my amazing and thoughtful Galentines.
That Love sign? Reminds me whenever I walk past it, that I'm loved, I matter, and that while I might not have 300 Whatsapp messages to catch up on, I'm still a friend.
An oddly personal post from me, but I've always had a thing where my blog is where I write to get my thoughts outta my head :D
Much love my lovelies,
K x
You sound like me! I bail out of long conversations quite quickly and I can take forever to reply. Then it feels like a catch 22 having to explain why I haven't responded to a message and then not replying again because I feel bad. I'm lucky I have a handle of amazing friends who are actually pretty far away. But they understand life gets in the way and that a simple love heart emoji message isn't just a gap filler but me showing that I am thinking about them but don't have the energy to converse right now. Life is busy. You're busy and you're great just the way you are. x
ReplyDeleteI can relate. I crave close friendships but seem utterly unable to maintain them, if I get the opportunity to begin with.
ReplyDeleteBut I certainly feel that long distance friendships are just as meaningful as ones close by. The proximity isn't what makes it; your Galentines shows that. It's just more special when you get to spend time in the flesh!
They are lucky to have you as a friend. I don't know you well but the few times I've met you or interacted with you you've always been so warm and friendly and super positive x
I came to comment to say the photo of you at the top is absolutely glorious! I moved away from my home town when I was 19 and always supplemented my IRL friendships with penpals and then online pals. Most of my greatest friends live in my pc. In realising I'm an introvert that makes sense too - friends when I can deal with them.
ReplyDeleteI didn't do well in the group chat setting either. There's something lonelier than being alone about being blanked in a group of people. I feel much happier away from it, although I know often it's an 'out of sight, out of mind' thing in blogging circles, but my MH matters more than anything else. You rock, lady. xx